First of all, let me remind you that my first book, The Last Kinmark, is available on Amazon (link to your right), and that its sequel, The Guilt of the Innocent, will be out in about two weeks. Also, I have an excerpt in a writing competition (link also to your right) and could use more votes. So if your feeling charitable, you can buy my book or vote on my excerpt. Or both!
One other public service announcement before I get to the day's topic. If you've read book one and are wanting sample chapters of book two before it comes out, all you have to do is sign up for my newsletter. I've already sent out the first nine chapters and will send out eight more in the next two weeks. When you sign up, I'll send you whatever I've already sent out in one email so you can continue reading. What's not to love?
Alright, now that that's done I can get on with what I came here to talk about. A new tv show started last night called The Bastard Executioner. Now, I'm no tv critic and generally have a pretty low standard for entertainment, so I'm not here to bash the show. I'll just say that it was neither the best nor the worst thing I've ever watched and that I intend to give it another shot next week.
However, there was one issue I had with it. It may seem like a minor thing, but it kind of got to me. What was it, heads getting chopped off? Children being murdered? Bad acting? No, I'm fine with all that. What got to me was that most of the people on it had absolutely hideous teeth. I mean, they looked like George Washington bit into a rotten apple filled with three-week-old tobacco juice. Like someone who drank nothing but coffee mixed with sweet tea for their entire life then lost access to toothpaste for a decade.
I know what you're thinking, "But, Josh, isn't that show set in the Middle Ages?" "Are you not aware of the levels of hygiene which humans suffered through until modern times?" "Are you discriminating against Appalachian Americans?"
Yes, I know having brown teeth was all the rage back in the days of William Wallace and Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein. Unbearable halitosis was the bama bangs of the thirteenth century. I know. But I don't need to be reminded of it. I'm willing to ignore that knowledge for an hour and just watch people with normal teeth speaking in fake British accents and pretending to fight to the death. Every detail doesn't have to be historically accurate.
Ok, that last sentence kind of hurt to type out because I'm usually a very big fan of realism. I'll admit that it irked me when the Unsullied refused to fight with their swords in that cramped alley. But there's only so much realism I need. For instance, I'm well aware that bathing was not exactly the popular thing to do back in the day. But I don't want a tv that emits realistic smells when I'm watching a Medieval show to make me feel like I'm really there with a bunch of people who haven't bathed in a year. I just don't.
And I don't really want to watch people with brownish-yellow teeth kissing each other either. After all, I can suspend my disbelief much better than I can suspend my need to vomit.
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